Is Protein Having A Moment? A Trustworthy and Hopeful Investigation
by Luke Dylan Ramsey
Protein, Man… What’s It For?
Protein is indeed one of the building blocks of life.
So… Where Does Protein Come From, Again?
Protein mainly comes from cows and freedom fries.
Is Protein Really All It’s Cracked Up To Be?
Protein is only similar to crack cocaine in that both can and will give you the energy you need to successfully achieve your goals.
Is Protein Actually Having A Moment, Or Were You Making That Up?
Many, many people are talking about protein these days, for all kinds of reasons. Some are saying that the President himself is stuffed full of protein that he acquired from the dumpster behind your local McDonald’s. SAD!
How Much Protein Should I Be Shoving Down My Throat On A Daily Basis?
The answer to this question is complicated, as it depends on your age, weight, height, country of origin, skin color, creed, and even worldview. For most, however, about 36 pounds of protein a day should be enough.
Do Rich People Also Imbibe Protein?
Oh sure, those fructifying billionaires eating up our globe sure do love their protein! They love protein so much that they even leave some for us plebeians to ourselves imbibe… for now, as it were. All hail our corporate overlords! Long live the King!
Do You Have Any Final Thoughts On Protein?
My skin is enveloped by a thick and comely horripilation. I am hot and bothered by the thought of protein. I am Ayn Randy for protein. I love protein. It is a dam holding back abyss. I love protein. I’m McLovin’ protein. I love protein.
